Online Dating – Does It Work?

What is Love?

What do we consider love? One popular dictionary site states that love is: “The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.” So love is spectacular and indescribable. Love sets our hearts on fire, it makes our blood boil and turns us into different creatures. Love, sex and romance have fueled our culture and history, they have built up and torn down empires, and they are what every person wants to find.

Where is the Love?

How do you find it? In the past you looked to your friends, you scanned the church and searched the clubs, maybe it even would even sneak up on you at work. In the deeper past you married who your parents decided and hoped love would spark. Today, as before, we use the tools at our disposal. They just happen to be different tools. Today we use the internet.

Not more than a few years ago, no self respecting person would admit that they were dating online. It was seen as a last resort, a tool for the desperate. What a difference a few years makes! Scientists at the University of Rochester recently reported a study where they found that online dating is now the second most common way to begin a relationship. Today tens of millions of people use online dating sites and these sites have proliferated. PlentyOfFish.com, Match.com, eHarmony.com, OKCupid.com and these are just a very few of the most popular not even counting the niche dating sites. What was frowned upon has become commonplace and why wouldn’t it. A CNN article recently summed it up like this:

If you’re young, urban and didn’t import a significant other from college, it’s pretty likely that you’re on an online dating site.

The pool of possibilities widens immensely. No longer do you need to settle for people you would meet at work, a party, church, or a local bar. Many of these dating sites even promise, through proprietary computer matching, that they can indeed pick out your perfect mate.

Where do We Find Love

Can they truly pick a perfect match? That is still a rather controversial assertion, but what they will do is introduce you to many more people than you would have met otherwise. And it all depends on what you are looking for and it depends how hard you want to look. Everyone knows someone who met their spouse online, as well as met people who have horror stories about online dating. Are the statistic for online dating any better than traditional dating? A study recently out published in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest states that it is no more effective than traditional dating for finding a happy relationship. The study states:

Regarding matching, no compelling evidence supports matching sites’ claims that mathematical algorithms work-that they foster romantic outcomes that are superior to those fostered by other means of pairing partners.

This may be true, but we use the tools at our disposal. So cupid is still rather stingy with his arrows high tech or otherwise. If it were that easy, it wouldn’t be love!

Free Online Dating Sites For Singles

Free online dating sites for singles is a boom for those people looking forward to finding the right person as their life partner. One major hurdle in any free online dating site for singles is the lengthy preliminary process. At the outset, you are required to fill up a form or answer a questionnaire, which can be very big in a few sites. After that, you would be asked to upload more details about you, including your photos. The next step would be responding to online invitations and commence online chatting. This is where most of the online dating sites for singles ask you for subscriptions.

After you continue online chatting for a month or so, the moderators of the free online dating site for singles would provide you with the e-mail of your contacts, so that you could communicate directly with them. Then you get to the tricky question of obtaining the phone numbers of the persons you have contacted. All these might take months and the entire process could be quite frustrating. Unless you are serious about getting a date and patient, the experience could be daunting and wear you out psychologically and emotionally.

The risks associated in using a free online dating site for singles are also considerable. Pedophiles use such sites to scout for lonely women with small kids. Stalkers scan these sites for vulnerable women, who could be easily misled. Fraudsters try to create sympathy and dupe people in paying them substantial amounts. According to the Internet Crime Report 2007 by the Internet Crime Complaint Center, internet dating fraud formed a major chunk in the total Internet frauds reported. As such, extreme caution is required while using a free online dating site for singles. Even though the sites offering these services take all out efforts to weed out such persons, you should also be quite careful to avoid dangerous solicitations.

Breaking the Vicious Spell of Sexual Addiction

One might have fantasized about the gorgeous women they ever laid their eyes on but if someone went ahead to conquer each and every such woman in an endless but a methodical quest then such an individual might be considered to be prone to sexual addiction. Though, it may not sound like a life threatening situation but the social and the psychological implications of this condition will make you think otherwise.

Sex addiction has a major difference than other types of addictions like alcohol or drug addiction as it involves the act of sex which is a normal activity that is performed regularly unlike consuming alcohol or drugs. However, sexual addiction is basically all about engaging in a relentless pursuit of sexual pleasure despite the knowledge of its consequence to oneself and others. It is an addiction that can permanently damage a person but just like all other addictions it too can be cured with the right treatment.

An essential key to the right treatment of sex addiction lies in understanding the key reasons behind the addiction. There can be various causes like early exposure to inappropriate sexual activity or materials or physical, sexual and emotional abuse especially during childhood or the adolescence period. Growing up in rigid and disengaged families also can contribute to the development of sexual addiction in an individual as such families tend to ignore, restrict or make the child feel inadequate and as a failure. Thus in such circumstances the child tries to escape from his family issues and resorts to sexual fantasies like masturbation or engaging in covert sex early in life to escape from the tensions.

Addiction recovery in such cases starts with helping one to stop that behavior first. All this can be done by attending these recovery oriented support meetings or to maintain a support system via a therapist or a support group with the back up of a sponsor. Also some professional doctors can offer counseling and therapy in cases of sex addiction but the role of family and friends in encouraging and supporting the individual is instrumental in faster treatment. Also, the infamous 12 step sex program for treating addictions states sexual addiction as the most difficult to master is it would involve an extremely dedicated approach to treat the addiction. However, one of the most effective ways to conquer sexual addiction is by counseling strategies like individual counseling, group counseling, counseling of the addict’s partner and couple counseling. The motive of these counseling sessions is to help not only the addict but also the partner or the spouse who faces trauma due to the addiction.

Prior to treatment a person caught in sexual addiction might perform sexual acts to feel safe, comfortable and accepted but it is one condition that separates an individual from everything in life that a person holds dear. And the only way one can break out from a situation that will destroy one’s social structure is by going through addiction recovery. While alcohol and drugs have to be bought, sex is a normal experience and this recovering from an addiction based on a routine act is difficult without help.